Intelligent Love
by N.A.Given
Summary: PAUSED. Koumi, bilionaire CEO, wants to prevent his sister Lenalee from ever falling in love and enlists the professional, homophobic heart-breaker Yu Kanda, to fend away suitors. And rumor has it that he's very good at what he does. Yullen
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** Nope, don't own.

**Warning:** boy x boy, no likey, no read.

-o-

* * *

_Love is one of the many mysteries of human nature unexplainable by science. Though years of scientific research has deduced why love makes people feel good, the origin of love is still questioned. The hormones oxytocin and vasopressin contribute to the light-hearted mood of being love but psychology is credited to what activates the hormonal release. What makes a person choose another, even if there's someone else to fit "your type", remains a mystery._

* * *

-o-

**_Chapter 1:_**

-

"That guy must have some nerves! Seriously, who does he think he is, sauntering in here like he owns the place -and then hitting up a conversation with Lenalee like that?? Who does he think he is! He must think he's so great, being the son of Corporate Industries' CEO, but you know what? -I don't care! -For him to actually approach her is unforgivable! The next time he shows up, I'll pummel him, cut his body into pieces, feed the pieces to sharks, run the sharks over with a tractors, dismantle the tractor" so on and so on. He always says the same things.

Kanda growled in annoyance as he glanced impatiently at his watch. The machines that he didn't want to program were far from ready and here he was, stuck listening to this idiot babble.

"Are you done_ yet_?" Kanda's voice resonated echoes through the room, knocking the papers out of Komui's hands and scattering them onto the floor. "If you're so bothered by all this then let me finish and _get out_!"

Koumi pulled a forceful smile onto his lips and patted Kanda nervously, "And what good work you've been doing, I might add. Did anyone ever tell you that you're a valuable team player?" he paused to break into a real smile, "Here, to show my affection, I'll give you biiiiig kiss on the cheeks-"

"GET OUT!"

Koumi's face paled and gathered the documents before placing them into a pile next to Kanda. He then scrambled for the door but was in such a hurry that he missed the exit the first couple of tries and ran straight into the wall. When he finally left, Kanda dropped his angry glare and sighed.

Though he did it a lot, Kanda didn't like acting out in rage. The feeling of losing controlled always felt unsettling to him… and recently, it's been happened more often than usual.

After months of debate with his oversized pride, Koumi has finally allowed his sister to fulfill her long-timed wish: to marry. She had forced her brother to issue a nationally televised statement that she was single and was looking for men (rich men, of course); however, Koumi wasn't about to change his overly protective ways just because his sister threatened to elope with a transgendered pimp if he didn't let her have her way.

Koumi, being the genius that he was, pretended he loved the idea of her sister having free will but behind his facades, planned on ruining Lenalee's crusade for love. Since Lenalee has never been allowed anywhere near men without "supervision", she has never gotten the chance to experience love. –And because she has never experienced such a thing, Koumi wanted to make sure that her first experience would be a memorably horrible one. Normally, any brother would find this task a bit challenging but being the head of the Board of Directors of the Black Order's Technology, he was sure he could accomplish this goal fairly well: if he couldn't do it himself, he could always pay a professional. That's where Kanda comes in.

Yu Kanda is a renounced name in the business of love (anything can be profitable in a capitalist society) for his abilities to break hearts and ruin young affections; and Koumi has hired him to break Lenalee's. In a typical situation, all Kanda would have to do is turn himself into the perfect man and win over the woman but because Koumi isn't "typical" (if Kanda had known ahead of time, he wouldn't have accepted the job offer), Kanda was stuck doing an odd task. Koumi had provided the anti-matchmaker with technicians –because Black Order Tech is famous for its humanoids, Kanda was asked to help create an army of robots to charm Lenalee (think of it this way: Koumi can control the robots meaning that Koumi can control Lenalee).

Of course, Yu Kanda was smart enough to do anything, such as program humanoids, but this was really trying his patience. After dedicating his life to showing humanity that love was but a figment of their imagination, the last thing he wanted to do was work with robots; robots lacked the complication that emotional people had and without that complication, the fundamentals of his job was reduced to something as lacklustering(1) as, maybe, a job in accounting.

Kanda pinched the bridge of his nose as he glanced at his unfinished work. But before he could slam his tool down in irritation and mutter angrily to himself, he was interrupted.

"Yu-_chan_!" Kanda's work abruptly cut off when he looked down on his lap and found what looks to be a man there.

"What's this?!" With a harsh shove, he pushed itoff and furiously wiped the bottom of his suit, as if it was contaminated from the touch.

"Yuuuu, don't be so rough with it! I just finished it!" Kanda opened his mouth to let out a nasty retort when he saw a flash of orange(2) latch around his neck.

"Let go!" he shouted, pushing Lavi down onto the ground as he gasped a slight "ouch". "What are you, gay? Is this your way of acting out secret fantasies??"

"Yu-chan, why are you _so_ hurtful? You don't have to be so mean to me. First you punch down my robot and now, me. I mean, I thought we were friends!" Lavi grumbled through a pout, "…And friends are _suppose_ to hug each other…"

If Kanda was less sophisticated and had a more vulgar upbringing, he would have snorted and flipped his hair into the other man's face. "What a homosexual comment. Males don't touch each other unless they're gay, and you better not be gay."

Lavi started a reply but Kanda was too disgusted to listen keenly. Shuddering elegantly from the thought of working with a (possibly) gay man, he gathered his working tools and proceeded towards the exit.

"Whenever you feel like getting your act together," Kanda said, pausing at the doorway without turning to face Lavi, "you should fix that robot. It's too ugly to attract and its actions are repulsively uncivilized (aka, reminds Kanda of Lavi)."

Lavi watched Kanda's retreating figure with his tongue sticking out and, with an indignant "hmph", he went back to fixing the robot with his usual nonchalant smile. He looked his humanoid over and realized that Kanda was right; it could stand a new grin, bigger eyes, and a new hairstyle.

He labored furiously for the next three minutes, feeling his work ethnics fueling the energy in his hands as they seemed to move on their own will. But when those three minutes was up, Lavi's short attention span gave way and he fell to his back, sighing at his newfound boredom.

"Uhhh, so boring..."

...

"What was Yu doing?" Lavi perked up at the thought of his irritable superior. One of the most entertaining things to do is to annoy a friend but it's always better to annoy a friend who becomes disgruntled at every other gesture. And with that thought in mind, Lavi skipped out the door and followed after the man.

-

Kanda paced down the hallway, lost in thought. He had abandoned his tools four corridors ago (he had no intension to continue holding something that brought him so much distaste) and was currently thinking about his situation. He was hired to charm Koumi's sister yet, he has never met her. And how can anyone hope to charm a person without knowing her personality?

Well, there was always looks. From personal experiences, Kanda has always assumed 95 percent of women liked good-looking men, or, in other words, a good-looking man with a generic sort of personality and manly/cute/sophisticated traits (ex. protects the girl, smiles at all the children, and is a Harvard graduate as wise Confucius, not that Kanda was anything like that). In fact, because women are so easily worn down by handsome charms that there was never a need to rack his brain for a true individual, with slight defective idiosyncrasies, eccentric habits, etc. Because a woman's heart can be so easily won over (though men are even worse than women when it comes to being superficial), there was no need for Kanda to seriously sit down and study each women from his different jobs –in fact, people in general were so alike that he never felt much of a need to study anyone. There was always one type of man liked by a good majority of women (80 percent) and all Kanda needed to complete each love-breaking job was to figure out a few of those lovable personalities, ones he can reuse to continuously charm women. He never really needed to sit down and figure out a unique personality for a man, to figure out a personality that was so special that if he died, the world would notice something missing.

…That's was why he doesn't believe in love. Maybe it was because he's never met a person, who may or may not be good looking, with a personality that stood to be so unique that it was impossible to compare it to another.

Any person who could love against logic was admirable! -But Kanda doubted he would ever get to see such a sight; he was too much a pessismist to resist analysizing such a relationship and he would analysize until it manages convincing himself that each in that relationship has an unconscious ulterior motive for being with the other.

Kanda let out a long, involuntary sigh. His mind had wandered off the topic of charming Lenalee towards his own issues and now, he felt it beginning to diverge into an analytical explanation as to why he was so homophobic. The sigh had broken his train of thought and he made a mental note not to trail off from the task hand. If he could not prevent Lenalee from falling in love with anyone outside his supervision, he would be failing his job (he has never failed before) and Yu Kanda is by no means a failure.

He stuck his head into a nearby room, saw a pen and notepad lying on a work table, and grabbed it before proceeding down the hall. He had to find Lenalee soon but there was no harm in working while he searched for her. Clicking open the ballpoint pen, he jotted down a few personalities, ones he uses for each love-breaking job, as he continued walking aimlessly.

-

_**Personalities for Humanoids:**_

**Type 1:** Handsome, conversationalist, brave, strong-spirited, kind yet cool**  
Type 2:** Cutely handsome, sweet, brave, conversationalist**  
Type 3:** Handsome, uncaring asshole, prideful, hated by most, loves loved ones unconditionally**  
Type 4:** Handsome, the complete opposite of her

**All Must:** Talk like he's willing to give his life for her, looks like he can protect her (muscles in correspondence with his other physical traits), be humanly flawed, exciting to be around (woman's point of view), doesn't give up easily  
**Optional: **Humorous, witty, believes in true love, etc.

-

Though the list did not consist of all the definitions of a perfect guy, it's comprehensive enough to charm a good number of women (if 95 percent of women fall for looks and a generic personality, 98.5 perfect of women would fall for looks and a semi-generically perfect personality).

Kanda gave his list another glance over, looking at it whimsically before crossing out the third type, thinking that it sounded a bit too much like himself (if Lenalee really did men like type three, Kanda can always use himself as a last resort). And after another reread, he started thinking about further corrections but was interrupted (again) by a voice.

"Yu-_chaaaan_."

Kanda turned, with anger flashing through his eyes, to see what kind of dead-beat retard would call him by his first name. And, no surprise to Kanda, that idiot was Lavi.

Kanda opened his mouth to retort but something caught his attention before he opened his mouth. He saw a boy walking in front of Lavi, towards Kanda. And when the two made eye-contact, the boy stopped in his tracks. (3)

Kanda frown deepened as he looked over the kid. He was medium height, had white-hair, some kind of odd tattoo on the left side of his face, …and chicken legs. What is this??

"What is this??" Kanda exclaimed in a fury, his words mirroring his thoughts.

Pointing a finger accusing at the boy, he continued his wrath. "Look at this kid. He has no muscles, he's too short to be handsome and too tall to be cute, and on top of all that, you give him white hair. A _supposidly_ attractive humanoid with _WHITE HAIR??_ You know what that makes him look like? That makes him look like a bamboo stick with a bulb of onion on top! Is this your definition of attractive because if it is, you _must _be gay! How else-"

"Excuse me??" Allen replied indignantly, repulsed by this man's lack of manners. Kanda, however, continued on.

"How else could you have such a twisted definition of attractive? And another thing," he said, finally turning his attention to the fact that the boy had responded, "he just talked back to me! Though the talking back itself isn't bad because it signifies a personality in development, what it said to me was just disgusting. 'Excuse me.' How homosexual does that sound??"

Allen wanted to argue back but because the only resort that came to mind was "Excuse me", he opted to simply continue seething in anger silently.

"Erm, Yu-chan?" Lavi said hesitantly when he finally arrived at the scene, "that's not-"

"How many times have I told you not to call me by my first name? And what is this, huh? You bring me this _thing _and expect that it can charm any girl? Don't you know that having a nice physical appearance is key to winning someone over? And yet you bring me this? This bean sprout-looking, appeal-less, lanky -"

And because Allen still could not think up a good retort, he settled for punching Kanda in the face instead.

* * *

-

_(1) Is lacklustering a real word? Or is it just lackluster_

_(2) His hair is orange… right? _

_(3) Hm... sounds corny. Anyone have an suggestion as to what I should use instead (for the future)? :D?_

-

Whoa, would you look at the time! It looks like it's time for…..  
….. you guy to send me A REVIEW!  
….yes, I know I'm lame….  
….ok, ok, fine! Don't send me a review! See if I care!

….runs off crying ;-;


	2. Chapter 2

**To everyone who reviewed/alerted/fav-ed**: I love you guys! I would list each of your names here and tell you how much I adore you but that might creep you all out :p

**To everyone who didn't review/etc but read and liked my story:** I love you guys too! I would list each of your names here and tell you how much I adore you but I don't know your names since you didn't leave a review xD

**To everyone who didn't review/etc but read my story and hated it (but is still back for some personal reason to read the second chapter):** I'll try harder to win your nod of approval!!

-o-

**Disclaimer:** Yeah… don't own.  
**Beta Reader** (I know, you're totally amazed that someone as stupid as me figured out what beta-readers are)**:** _**Elemental-Zer0**_ (who, did I mention, is very cool, patient, and nice xD -indiscreetly trying to kiss up-)  
**Warning:** Same one as last chapter, except the Yullen comes in MUCH later.

-ooo-

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_Love is often said to be the cure for most psychological diseases, when applied in its purest form. It is a basic emotion needed for a healthy mentality. Babies who are born to a void of emotions often roll over and die on the spot (as proven in the thirteenth century, in King Fredrick II's experiment), and the coldest of criminals turn over their life of crime when they experience love for the very first time (usually love towards their children). Sometimes, love is regarded as the miracle cure for all psychological (and some physical) diseases._

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**Chapter 2:**

-o-

"_Yuu Kanda?"_

_Kanda smiled favorably at the man who had just called him out. Though he usually didn't like hearing people refer to him by his first name, Kanda was willing to make an exception for this man, due to his polite tone of voice and the courteous bow that followed after. _

_And when Kanda didn't respond with anything more than that smile, the man took it as a sign to continue you. "You may or may not have heard of me but-"_

"_I've heard of you," Kanda interrupted, his grin widening, "Komui Lee from the Board of Directors of 'Black Order Technology'."_

"_Head__ of the Board of Directors actually, but that's just a minor detail." The man corrected with a flip of his hand. Kanda's smile fell, replacing it with a frown. Komui laughed nervously when he realized the change in Kanda's expression. Deciding that the awkward silence was too much, he continued on, "Ahem, I have a business proposition for you."_

_When Kanda didn't show any sign of responding, Komui added a few feeble words, hoping to win his favor. "You'll be paid very well."_

_A few more seconds passed before Kanda spoke up. "I'm not interested in money, Director. All I want to know is this: _will this be worth my time_?"_

"_Erm, I'm…not entirely sure what you mean-" Komui said, unshaken by the glint that flashed through Kanda's eyes._

"_-I mean, will this be _interesting_." He started with a steadfast voice, in almost a predatory way, "Will the case woman stand out from the rest? …Will I finally get to see an awe-inspiring form of love?" But as he continued his voice fell to a soft whisper. The questions didn't seem to be directed toward Komui anymore but rather to the empty feeling presently hovering in his dark office._

_This lifted Komui's spirits. Kanda's steady tone had seemed to predict a case-rejection but with the softer tone coming into play, it was possible he'd accept. But as those few lines seemed both revealing and at the same time rather ungraspable, Komui felt himself uncertain of his reply._

"…_It can be as interesting as you want it to be!" He concluded, laughing naively at his vague phrasing. However, those words seemed to satisfy Kanda. He gave a terse smile before nodding. _

"_I'll take the job."_

_When he heard that his case was accepted, Komui started a foolish victory dance. And Kanda watched in slight amusement as he wondered how someone so wealthy could be so ridiculous and stupidly open with his actions. He sighed, ignoring the peculiar man and turned his attention to the new case._

_Realistically, there was no way that someone of Komui Lee's stature would offer Kanda a 'typical' job. No, someone that rich could buy most forms of love (even if they were superficial kinds) and if the definition of wealth was needed to employ Kanda, the job must be a __difficult, challenging job in store for him._

"_Now seriously Kanda-san, back to business." Komui had dropped his usual goofy look and stared straight into Kanda's eyes, causing the long-haired man to feel a shiver run through his body; the shiver was his gay-dar's (gay radar) warning signal, and anything that made him shiver warned him of the possibility of someone homosexual in his presences._

_-And if Komui was homosexual, there was no way he would take this job._

"_Kanda-san, I need you…" Kanda shifted backwards in his seat, feeling incredibly edgy as Komui leaned closer in. "…to do me a favor."_

"_What is it?" Kanda growled defensively, readying his fist behind his back._

"_I need you to not use yourself as a medium for this job."_

_Kanda blinked. "What?" _

_Though this request left Kanda confused, it ceased the shivering. Relaxing back into his seat –and feeling safe with the knowledge that he was not being flirted with- Kanda motioned for Komui to elaborate._

"_You've made a name for yourself by charming the woman from each of your cases, either by stealing her from the man or preventing her from being stolen in the first place, but I'm asking you not do that for this case." _

_"…I'm afraid I don't understand what you're asking of me. I'm a professional heart-breaker. My job is__to steal the woman's heart. If I won't be doing that, what _would _I be doing?" He asked, trying not to seem annoyed with the man's backward riddles._

"_Well, it's not like you won't be required to win a girl's heart here but rather you, Yuu Kanda, won't be winning her heart; instead, you will instruct someone (__"or some_thing_," Koumi added softly on the side__) on how to do that." He replied, discreetly hiding the real objective._

"_And what would the point of that be?" Kanda asked, suspiciously, "Wouldn't it be easier if I just did it myself?"_

"_Yes but," Komui paused to slam his hands down onto the desk with full force, "You might break my Lenalee's poor heart!" He cried crazily, waterfall tears pouring from his bespectacled eyes._

"_I'm sorry?" Kanda said incredulously. He assumed Lenalee was the girl he was suppose to (teach others to) charm. "In case you didn't notice, that's what I do."_

"_Yes but you do it too well! Women you get and leave behind often suffer from deep depression or something –maybe suicide, I don't know- and I just. can't. have. that!"_

_Kanda looked disgruntle, staring down the billionaire (more like tri-quart-du-sept-a-billionaire but that would sound stupid), wondering if he was in his right his right mind…_

_**...Well, it was a direct request from the Head**, he thought, **and this would definitely be a different kind of experience...**_

"_Alright, I'll take the case"_

But that was all before he knew that Komui was secretly an idiot. And also before he knew that the "people" he had to train were actually robots, before he knew that the staff of technicians were complete, incapable fools.

And, more importantly, before he knew he had to deal with people like Allen Walker.

Kanda clutched his bruised eye and growled softly.

"Guess you're not feeling much better, are you?" Lavi asked, laughing weakly as an attempt to lighten the mood.

"Shut up," Kanda barked in reply.

"You know," Allen said to Lavi, directing his words away from the injured man. "You don't have to bother being so nice to such a **prick**!" He finished, emphasizing the last word heavily and making sure the older man heard him loud and clear, before returning to face the wall. He then proceeded to grumble a few words through a pout that sounded an awful lot like "bloody", "stupid", "rude", and "asshole".

"What did you call me??" Kanda yelled back, rising to the bait. He was _not_ going to be outdone by a shrimpy beansprout.

"I called _you_ a prick!" The white haired boy replied, unflinchingly. "You know; assholes who have no manners or respect for others… or if you don't like that name, I can call you an _ODD-FISH_(1)! I mean, seriously, what kind of person insults others by referring to them as plants and vegetables? Bamboo? Onion? _Bean-sprout?_" Allen turned to face Kanda, to show him the anger that was being emitted from his eyes.

"_Bean-sprout??"_ He repeated as though he felt overly insulted by that one word alone. "Not only does that sound like a pet name but it's just plain weird! I mean, what kind of person calls another person a _bean-sprout_??"

Normally Kanda would have retorted but the last few accusations made him so uncomfortable that he simply didn't feel like insulting Allen back. It wasn't that Allen had just called him "odd" or "a prick" but rather, it was because Allen had said _bean-sprout_ sounded like a pet name…

_Pet name_… The thought of Kanda actually meaning for his insult to be interpreted as a pet name sent his anti-gayness defense shivers down his spine. _Pet name…_

"Disgusting," He mumbled to himself, shivering once more. Lavi glanced at the two, then at the distance of the gap in between.

"Hey you guys," Lavi started, acting on the idea that it wasn't too healthy for two strangers to hold so much hate for one another, "Don't you think, that before you start biting each other's heads off, you should at least-"

"Lavi!"

A feminine voice shrieked from down the hall, interrupting Lavi, and all three turned to see a distressed girl run towards the scene.

Lavi tried to discreetly wipe away a nervous sweat when he realized who it was.

"L-Lenalee, what are you doing here?" he asked before turning to face Kanda to motion at him with his eyes, as if trying to send a silent message to him. _This is bad. Lenalee can't find out about Komui's plans._

And even though Kanda caught Lavi's absurd looking glances, he didn't have the slightest idea as to what he was attempting convey.

_This idiot better not be flirting with me_, he thought with a shiver.

"What's going on here?" Lenalee said, finally arriving at the scene and sensing an awkward tension within the group. But then she saw Kanda's bruised eye, her first instincts commanded her to rush to his side.

"Oh my! What happened to you? Are you ok? Does it hurt?" She asked, kneeling down before the man.

Kanda flinched away from the attention –he hated being worried over- and backed away a bit. Worry was just one step above pity, and he would have snarled at her to mind her own business if Kanda hadn't realized that she was the girl he had been looking for. Instead, after he recollected himself, he signaled for her to come closer.

"W-what is it?" She managed to stammer as Kanda gently pulled her closer by the collar before bringing his hand up to lightly hold her chin. He stared hard into her eyes, as though searching her soul.

"Miss?" He finally said in a low husky voice.

"Y-yes?" She blushed furiously, the red hue spoiling her pearly complexion. Unconsciously, she leaned closer, feeling Kanda's dark eyes pulling her in. The tips of their noses were touching… and Lenalee waited tentatively for Kanda to continue. -However Kanda didn't reply.

He hadn't even intended to.

If anyone asked, Kanda would have replied that his intention was to get a better view of her fair skin, thin lips, and wide, thick-lashed eyes. The truth behind his actions, however, was far from that. In fact, Kanda's intention was simply to fluster her.

-Most woman liked being in such a close proximity with a handsome man.

"S-sir?"

"Hm?" Lenalee had been calling to him for a while but he hadn't noticed; he wasn't usually addressed to as 'Sir'.

"D-Do you need something?"

Kanda smiled as handsomely as he could. "Not really, I just wanted to see you up close. I simply wanted to admire-" But before he could finish that sentence, Kanda felt a sudden force push him away from Lenalee moments after realizing something had hit him… from across the hall.

After the initial impact, Kanda felt an assortment of emotions. The confusion he originally felt for the odd turn of events quickly stemmed into humiliation when he realized Lenalee, his case woman, had just been witness to Yuu Kanda at his lowest state (knocked down on the floor).

And when he realized the object that had just been hurled at him was a shoe, his embarrassment quickly turned into anger. Fury overwhelmed his mind (_a shoe!?) _and he stood up to survey the area for the dead beat who had just assaulted him.

–And Allen's triumphant grin seemed a lot more suspicious than Lavi's shocked gaping.

Taking a minute to arrange his thoughts, Kanda, with the shoe grasped tightly in one white knuckled hand, walked over to the white-headed boy; Allen's grin seemed to be growing wider with every step Kanda took.

In Allen's mind, he had every right to act out in such a manner. How dare that man treat him in such a foul manner, when he (Allen) was simply minding his own business -then completely ignore him directly after?! And to add insult to injury, he goes and flirts with a woman! _The_ woman!

And as Kanda stomped towards him in anger, Allen felt overjoyed that his plan had successfully irritated the man. But what Kanda did after he stopped in front of him caught Allen completely off-guard.

Instead of the string of insults or physical abuse that Allen had prepared himself for, Kanda settled for the gentleman routine and simply smiled.

"I believe this is yours." He said, forcing a sweet smile for appearance as he offered the shoe, to the white haired boy.

Allen, utterly unprepared for this response, found himself stumbling over his words. "I-I- no… n-no, it's not mine."

Kanda arched a brow, trying his best to maintain the fake grin. "Are you sure? It seems to me like you're missing one."

"O-oh?" Allen said as he glanced at his unclothed foot before laughing sheepishly. "Yeah. That's mine. I guess I must have misplaced it."

Realizing that by admitting to his slip of composure, even so tiny a mistake, he had just ended himself on the losing side of the argument (the collected one is always the winner), Allen added a feeble continuation to his dialogue.

"I can't even begin to fathom how it flew towards the other end of the hall..." he said in as mocking a tone as he could squeeze out.

-And though it wasn't much, it really pushed Kanda's cool.

There was nothing really insulting about what the boy had just said but for some reason, Kanda felt incredibly irritated. Maybe it was his voice -or even his face!

Yes, maybe it was his ugly face...

Kanda glanced at Lenalee through his peripheral view before taking inhaling deeply. As long as Lenalee was there, Kanda would have to remain the perfect gentleman, not daring to present himself as anything less. -No matter _how_ ugly the boy is.

Kanda slipped a discreet scowl at Allen before handing the boy back his shoe. With that, Kanda gracefully returned to Lenalee's side, figuring that it'd be best to get rid of her as soon as possible. Having her around was dangerous; the longer she lingered, the higher the chance was that she'll be a spectator to him uncouthly bashing the white-headed boy.

"Perhaps you should start heading back to your room, Miss?" He suggested in a convincingly seductive tone.

"Why?" She replied distantly, still flustered from before.

"Well, isn't the Open-House tomorrow?" He gently reminded her. The Open-House was the ridiculous name dubbed by Komui for the days when rich suitors from all over the world would come to the mansion in an attempt to win Lenalee's heart.

"Oh! You're right, I completely forgot!" And if she could blush anymore, she would have. "Thank you for reminding me!"

"It's my pleasure. After all, what kind of man would I be if-" He began, intending to leave her with a good impression, before he was rudely cut off.

"Would you shut it already? Do you think you're being smooth or something?" Kanda reluctantly removed his eyes from Lenalee (he was doing so well!) to face the chicken-legged boy.

"What did you say?" He asked dangerously, keeping in mind that Lenalee was still close by.

"You heard me." Allen snorted, "Can you even hear yourself? Do you even realize how foolish you sound… You sound like an egotistical prick! -And don't get me started with how ridiculous you look! I mean, did you forget that your eye was bruised the _whole_ time? You look foolish!"

Kanda held back the biting retort threatening to escape -The kid knew he wouldn't do anything in Lenalee's presence.

Forcing himself back into an even tone, Kanda turned his attention back to Lenalee.

"You really should be heading back."

Lenalee giggled lightly at the abrupt way Kanda had stopped the argument to send her off -it was like watching two siblings fighting over a toy. But as interesting as it all was, she realized that he was right; if she stayed any longer, her brother would definitely not be too happy.

"Yes, I suppose you're right." And after bidding everyone a quick goodbye (even to Lavi, who had been ignored the whole time), she quickly set off down the hall.

Then, when Allen registered that Lenalee was leaving, he suddenly remembered why he'd entered the mansion in the first place.

"Ah! W-wait!" He called to her disappearing figure, jumping after her retreating back and before Kanda could react (to catch him and commit homicide), Allen had vanished too.

Lavi chuckled as Kanda's expression quickly fell into a grimace.

"Yuu-chan, did you have lots of fun today? I mean, you got to flirt _and_ argue," he laughed teasingly, as this chapter is nearing to a close. Kanda shivered one of his gay-dar shivers.

"Don't put those two words together. It makes it sound like both are directed towards that-"

Lavi placed his hand onto Kanda's shoulders, cutting off his sentence. "Oh, you don't mean that. I think you two get along really well… maybe, a bit too well?" He said jokingly. Kanda continued to scowl as he slapped the man's hand away. -But that didn't stop Lavi from laughing again.

After the humor of the mood slipped away, he continued on.

"But seriously, there's something we should talk about." He said in as stern a tone as he could muster up, "Didn't Komui say something about you _not_ going for Lenalee? (Wasn't that the point of humanoids?) -What was that little display of flirtation you showered her with just now?"

Kanda sighed.

"I have no intention on wooing Miss Lee. What I did back there was purely for research."

"Research? What kind of research?"

"I was just testing how easy it is for her to fall for someone." He replied as he reached deep into his pocket and pulled out the scrap of paper with the personality types jotted on it. He handed it to Lavi.

"Program these types into the humanoids –but make sure you leave one for me. There's one more personality I want to program, but I need to do some more research before I can predict how successful it'll be."

"Why?" Lavi glanced at the paper with a skeptical look; this man sure seems serious. _Maybe I should stop joking around with him so much_? He thought when he saw the glint of excitement in Kanda's eyes. _He must really enjoy his work. _

Kanda continued talking, oblivious to the odd looks Lavi had been sending him. (If he did realize the looks, he would probably shiver).

"After conversing with her, I found that she's easily charmed -probably a consequence of her sheltered life. With that fact taken into consideration,she'll probably fall for every other guy who wishes to court her. And if that's true," Kanda paused to gather his thoughts, "it'd be a safest bet to set aside a secret weapon to get her. A personality type so compatible with her's that any other man would seem inferior in comparison."

Lavi glanced at the paper again, and then back at Kanda's fixated face. Was charming someone so effort-consuming that it required a "Secret Weapon"? He laughed nervously as he thought of personality types that might fall under that category… _Should I be a little more concerned for Miss Lee?_

While Lavi mumbled to himself, Kanda decided to take his leave (he didn't want to be caught with Lavi, alone in dark hallway –think of what that might imply!). And when Lavi realized the other man had already began retreating back to the workroom, he yelled a quick "Wait up!" before following tightly behind.

Though he didn't really feel like getting back to work, Lavi realized they were incredibly behind schedule; the robots had to be finished for tomorrow's Open House after all. With a tired sigh, he moved a little faster, following silently for the first few minutes.

"So, what do you think of Allen?" He asked, deciding that he didn't like the silence too much.

"…Allen?" Kanda inquired, his eyebrow raised. Lavi waved his hand dismissively.

"Yeah, you know…Allen Walker, inheritor to Cross Institutes…" And when Kanda face remained blank, Lavi added, "… the guy you were just arguing with?"

At that, Kanda's face turned into one of surprise.

"…He's a suitor?" He asked as though it couldn't be possible.

"Yeah."

_...That pathetic excuse for a boy is a suitor? That ugly, repulsive boy is a suitor?_

Lavi hid a smile; though Kanda never showed many emotions, he was oddly readable at times.

"You didn't answer my question." He pushed, hoping that the conversation he had worked so hard to think up hadn't died yet.

Kanda suddenly paused mid-step, causing Lavi to almost walk into him, before looking at the red-headed man with a strange sort of seriousness. After a few seconds of continued awkwardness, Kanda broke off into a mysterious smile.

"I think that if all the suitors are like that boy, my job here is going to be very easy."

* * *

-o-

**A/N**; (1) I know, I know, horrible insult but I have a good excuse: http : / www. peevish. co. uk / slang /

-o-

Looks like it's that time again... Yes, it's the time of the day where I whore myself for **_reviews_**.  
...actually, nah. I won't do anything for this chapter (I had planned to tell you all an embarrassing story about my dad) because I've whored myself enough on the first chapter/other stories...

But that doesn't mean you shouldn't review! Yes, you should still review... :(... I'll love you forever?


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